Sports-snail of the year

Gimme five! Up high, down low, too slow!

Oops. I got into that high five so fast I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Zippy. Zippy by name and Zippy by nature.

I currently hold SWRs (snail world records) for the 10cm Sprint and Swamp-athlon. I’ve won seven back-to-back One-day International Cricket Comps (crickets versus snails). And I took home a Blue Medal at the Extreme Garlic Games in France. I got it for the Vertical Soupbowl Slide and even Kroozer is impressed!

Yup, I’m a pretty big name in the snail world, but I try not to let it go to my antennae. I think I’m pretty down to earth, actually. I just happen to be really fast and really strong and really good at catching pollen lumps between my teeth from three daisy fields away.

There are a couple of secrets to my success though… I eat a lot of greens, which is kind of weird, because I’m blue! I also lift weights with my antennae, have an aerodynamic shell, and sleep about eight minutes a night. Life’s too short to count slugs jumping over twigs, I’d rather be jumping over them myself!

Speaking of jumping, there’s one career highlight I’m still chasing. The AKWR (animal kingdom world record) for high jump. Groan. I just can’t beat Slimy the frog…. And trust me, I’ve tried! I’m pretty sure he’s got springs for knees. Or some kind of rocket pack built into his bottom, but whatever it is, I can’t beat the high jump king. Luckily for me, Slimy has trouble not jumping, which gets him disqualified a lot of the time… Still, I want that record fair and square, so stay tuned!

Wellllll, it’s been great meeting you, but I’ve gotta run… On my mark, get set, GO!